Here is the transcript for today’s mini-episode in The How to Not Panic Sessions.
Hey there, everyone. I hope you’re doing well today. I’ve been hearing great questions from you and even though I won’t be doing daily podcasts forever, I will be answering ALL of the questions that I get in some way or another. I’ll be posting on Instagram and going live there to give some support and coaching and probably some comic relief because the kids and animals are very much HERE with me, haha. And I’ll be doing the same over on Facebook, if that’s more of your love language. Search for Kelly Hanlin McCormick on either platform and you’ll find me. So I’m going to do a few more episodes here, but even when we wind down this mini-series, I’m not going anywhere, alright?
Now I know some of you are doing FINE. That’s awesome. I’ll be honest: I’m doing pretty fine myself. I live in Kansas City and we have very few cases of Coronavirus around us at this point, the kids and my husband are home, we’re well stocked food-wise, and we’re doing pretty good here. I’m doing pretty well overall...and I know there are a lot of you that are feeling pretty good, too.
And I want to just take a moment before we get going today to say: I think sometimes we get caught up in the fear or the anxiety or the worry that surrounds us...or rather we have a moment or a WEEK when we AREN’T caught up in it and we look around and think, “oops, should I be feeling MORE stressed out? Should I be freaking out and buying toilet paper, too? Should I be more worried and more afraid of this whole thing?” It’s like when you’re at a funeral and you see someone that you haven’t seen for a long time and you feel, genuinely SO HAPPY to see them, and then you catch yourself and reorganize your face into the sad expression, because you’re at a FUNERAL for god’s sake. You shouldn't be feeling HAPPY. But I just want to take a second to say: all of the feelings are valid. It’s ok to be afraid and it’s ok to be great. It’s ok to be worried and it’s ok to enjoy the break from normal life. There is no feeling that is wrong or weird or inappropriate. Feelings just ARE and allowing yourself to be where you’re at, a little scared, a little anxious...and maybe a little excited and a little happy...it’s all exactly totally okay. Okay?
Now, for the question that I’ve been hearing a LOT...we’re going to talk about routine and time management today. We’re going to focus on time management and productivity and routine for a full month over in the Fierce Calm Project soon, but I thought we’d do a Coronavirus edition here today because SO MANY of us are facing not only big changes in our own work routines as we start working from home, but the kids are home, too. So this is more of a quarantine-with-the-family edition, and how to navigate Coronavirus from home and support yourself and your family by creating and sticking to a solid routine. Sound good?
I noticed myself doing a slow slide at night into later and later bedtimes. Have you noticed this with yourself? I was reading a couple really great books (Writers & Lovers by Lily King...and then Untamed by Glennon Doyle...and now I just started The Ten Thousand Doors of January by Alix Harrow) and it was tempting to just keep reading later and later into the night because, hell, I didn’t have to go anywhere tomorrow. Or the next day. I didn’t have to get the kids up and going. My husband is around to help out so I can just do whatever, what does it MATTER if there’s a routine around here right now, right??
Except, wrong.
We absolutely need routine. And we need routine during a time like this, when so many things are out of our control and so many things are changing by the day, by the hour even...we need routine now more than ever.
Routine anchors us. So, no matter what you hear on the news or what your friend or co-worker calls to tell you, you can rely on the consistency of a 6pm dinner. Or, no matter if it feels like it’s been a really long day and the kids are at each other, you can depend on an 8:30pm bedtime and the chance to start again tomorrow.
When you’re in the habit of a regular daily routine, you create a lot of stability and security for yourself. And again - in times like these, feeling stable and secure is a really good thing. Think of this as yet another way to really love on yourself and take care of yourself.
So I’ve been asking my clients and students this past week: how do YOU want to emerge from this quarantine? Who do you want to be at the end of this pandemic? And no matter what your answer to that question is, the HOW between you and that ideal outcome is ROUTINE.
I don’t care if you’re decluttering your house, writing a novel, re-evaluating how you do your job, composing a symphony, if you’re totally business as usual, learning a foreign language, or just trying to make it through the week and get everyone fed...no matter what you’re up to while you’re at home and quarantined, ROUTINE is going to help you get from this moment to the end of the pandemic in a calmer way. This is chaos to control 101. And hey: this is not Coronavirus-specific. Routine is, I’m convinced, THE BEST WAY to achieve any goal, accomplish any desired result, realize any dream...
So, let’s do the short-and-dirty, Coronavirus-pandemic, quarantined-at-home-alone-or-with-the-whole-damn-family edition of routine and time management, you ready?
The first thing to do is take out a sheet of paper and draw a line down the middle, top to bottom. On the left side of the paper, you’re going to write down a whole list of things and activities that you want to limit or avoid altogether. You can label this side, “Where My Time Goes to Die.” Haha, ok? For me, some of the things that I wrote down on this side were: social media (always), watching the news, reading the news, running the circuit (the circuit is this ridiculous chain of events where I check my email, check the number of new subscribers to my lists, check my social media DMs, check my to-do list, check my bank account, check how many steps I have for the day, check the weather, check for deals on iBotta, check Libby to see if I have any new audiobooks on loan...you get the jist...it’s a whole bunch of mindless checking that literally never needs to happen...total waste of time, and energy, and brain power). Ok, so that’s on the left side of the list...things to limit or avoid altogether.
On the right side of the paper, you’re going to write down a list of ideas and activities that you either want to achieve OR want to do every day. To tell you some of my examples, this looks like: my morning yoga practice, walking the dog, making a healthy lunch and dinner, a few hours of work, working on my next creative project, playing with the kids, and connecting with family over FaceTime. I’ve also added a few bigger things to this list like: working with my younger son on the piano every day, mastering the Settlers of Catan game, and cleaning out my closet and the basement. Those last few are Coronavirus-specific goals.
Also, consider things like spring break. Online and homeschooling the kids. Allowing extra time to cook if you don’t usually make all of your meals at home. But also work in things like: you don’t have to commute. The kids’ activities are canceled. And, well, everything is canceled. You have a few new and different things to do, yes, sure. But you also have a few things that you won’t be doing. Notice that there are a few things freed up, just as there are a few NEW things on your plate.
Ok, you’ve got your lists. Things you want to limit or avoid altogether...and things that you want to be sure you’re doing. Take out another blank sheet of paper. And you’re going to create, as in, you’re going to WRITE DOWN, a schedule. This can be for you. You can do one for the kids. You can have a whole family schedule. Whatever is appropriate for your quarantine.
This is a blank slate moment and I want you to take some time and really think about this. Get proactive here. If you live in a reactive mode from now until the end of this pandemic, you’re going to have about 17 Netflix shows under your belt to show for the whole thing. If you are PROACTIVE now, while this is just starting, WHO KNOWS what you could create or make space for or generate for yourself.
I did a sample routine for myself and for my kids. I’m going to post those on my Instagram account for you, you can find them over there @khanlinmccormick. I’ve programmed our Alexa with alarms for some of the things; like 10am math time and 1pm reading time for the boys and a 5:30pm “time to stop working Mom” alarm for me.
I sat down with my whole family to create this routine. Everyone was allowed to consult on the schedule, I didn’t just dictate this TO them. But we are all used to the rules and expectations of work and school and activities...and now we get to create our OWN rules and expectations. We get to ask ourselves, what do we WANT to do at noon? 5pm? On the weekend? We’ve always been the bosses of our lives, but now we get to really step into that role. There are no buses coming to pick the boys up, there are no start times for soccer practice or lunch or math, there is almost no distinction between a week day and a weekend. Time has become as fluid in reality as it’s always been...we just have this moment to really appreciate that and take charge.
Now, here’s the catch to all of this...you ready? You knew there was something, right? Here’s the deal. You’re going to make your lists and you’re going to write out a schedule for you, for the family, for the week, all of it. And this is going to look and seem SO GOOD on paper. You’re going to think, “I’m so on top of this!” and you’re going to feel so productive. And then...at some point, someone is going to say, “hey, I’m not in the mood to practice my viola right now.” Or they’re going to grumble when the alarm goes off in the morning. Or they’re going to walk by the video games and think, “why not just play for a FEW minutes and then I’ll do my chores?”
Count on this. Expect this, my friends. It may be you, your partner, you kids...heck, your DOG may try to throw you off the schedule. But someone is going to stray. And there may be a temper tantrum or whining or stomping involved.
It’s all ok. You knew it would happen. You expected it because we’re having this conversation here and now and you’re going into this whole thing TOTALLY prepared. When someone starts down the I’m-going-to-wreck-the-schedule path, you can say, AHA, I knew you were going to do this! If your own BRAIN starts down the path and thinks chips on the couch in front of Netflix sounds way better than closet organizing or doing your taxes, you can say, AHA, there you are, brain! I knew it!
And then...this is the moment, my friends...you are standing at a fork in the road. A fork in the quarantine. You can choose to indulge the temper-tantrum or the chips-on-the-couch idea. Or...you can choose to stay the course. It’s always a decision. You’re not going to want to stick to the schedule. Go ahead and expect that, too. Because chips! On the couch! SO FUN! You’re going to be up against a certain amount of discomfort when you ask yourself whether you want to do the immediate satisfaction thing or the LONG-TERM satisfaction thing. And here’s a hint: the long-term satisfaction thing always seems like a drag in the moment. You can expect that, TOO. See, I’m giving you all the things you can expect, haha.
The reason that I wanted you to identify the things that you want to limit or avoid is because those are likely the things that are going to seem like fun in the short-term. My guess is that most of you could spend a week or more doing those things because you’ve been in such a fever pitch of busyness and going and pressure the last few, oh, decades.
And this isn’t a matter of beating yourself into a new, hardcore, stringent routine. Not at all. In fact, I recommend not only listing but PRIORITIZING your self-care activities first when you’re creating this schedule. Listen back to yesterday’s episode all about true self-care for your mind, your body, and your environment. Put those things down FIRST. Then slot the work and math around THAT.
It’s a different thing to feel the discomfort of being dragged along through the week on the ride of the normal routine of life and just trying to keep up. That’s one way of being uncomfortable. A way you’re probably familiar with and now are finding some relief from because all the things are canceled and closed down. But know that there’s another kind of discomfort of building and COMMITTING to a life you want to live. Of doing the things you know you want to do for yourself. And that’s the discomfort of growth. Of productivity. It’s the discomfort of living into a high version of yourself...being someone you can count on, trust, and being someone who creates the things they say they WANT to create.
You in? Let me know how this is going. And like I said, I’ll post my personal schedule to Instagram for you...check that out if it will help.
I love you guys. I’m thinking of you all and I’ll see you again tomorrow for another short, mini episode in this series, The How to Not Panic Sessions. Don’t hesitate to reach out - you can find me on Instagram @khanlinmccormick or through my website, www.kellyhanlinmccormick.com. I’m here for you, I’ve got you. We can do hard things and we can do hard things together. Alright, my friends?
Ok, see you tomorrow. And until then, take care.
